Embracing "So What" Energy

How one phrase can help you remember what isn't yours to carry

One thing about me that doesn’t always come across in my writing is that I can be sassy.

Or, at least, sassy in a very Cancerian way—aka. sassy with a generous buffering of compassion, gentle understanding, and checking in.

But, if you are my friend, I will absolutely tell you what I think about your new outfit. I will wink at you when I see you leave the line dance with your crush. I will make the ribald joke and I will show up to the costume party in a giant headdress that takes up a whole swath of space on the dance floor.

This part of me—this bold, spirited, unapologetic energy that I’m calling my inner sass—feels like an important medicine. One I’ve held onto, clear and strong, no matter what I’ve been through in life.

For empaths—those of us who learned early on that attuning to other people’s desires over our own needs was essential to our safety—sassy energy is a lifeline. It’s an antidote to the heavy layers of people-pleasing and overaccommodating we often find ourselves muffled under, and it’s a direct line to stay connected to the center of our own selves—what we actually think, and what we actually need.

Which is why one of my favorite ways to stop overthinking, analyzing, and worrying (all common traits for sensitive people) is not to employ more of my over-caring nature, but to call in my sassy teenage-self and ask—“So what?”

When I was a kid, there was a whole era when this phrase was deeply in vogue. It was the perfect combination of the blithe self-confidence of Clueless's Cher and the gritty, irreverent rebelliousness of 90s grunge. I’m sure our parents hated it, but there was a time where, if someone brought something to our attention that we didn’t feel deserved our attention, we’d simply retort with, “So what?”

“Your homework isn’t done.”

“So what?”

“You have a hole in your pants.”

“So what?”

“Your room is a total mess.”

“So what???”

Yes, sometimes we used this egregiously to shirk responsibility and be absolute menaces—but the impulse behind it is powerful.

“So what?” is a playful energy, a trickster energy, a self-anchored energy that says…tell me why I should care about this? Because I’m here to discover what is actually mine to carry…and what is not.

In today’s podcast I talk about the process of how I use “So What?” energy for healing—to break mind loops, illuminate the true root of my overwhelm, and dissolve the grip that stressful thoughts have on my body and my life.

It’s easy, it’s fun—and it’s surprisingly powerful, especially for us sensitives and empaths. Take a listen below. 👇

Because, for empaths, asking “So what?” isn’t about shirking responsibility, but getting real with yourself about what actually is your responsibility.

So many of us default to thinking everything is our responsibility. That it’s our job to make people happy. To keep the peace. To never let anyone down.

But what if all those things were never our responsibility to begin with?

What if we’ve been putting too much, way too much, on ourselves all along?

And what would happen if—when our brains jumped in with yet another way in which we were “failing”—the sassy teen in us could step up, buff their nails, snap their gum, and say “So what?”

Because there is always going to be a part of us that judges us for even having these stressful thoughts in the first place.

But when we allow this other, more confident and compassionately clear part to take center stage—holding our hand and directing our face up towards the sun to ask, “So what, my love?”—we’re able to get in touch with that thing we’ve been craving all along.

The freedom of knowing that we, in all our parts, are good—no matter what

This is the energy I’m bringing into my birthday week, and that I’m calling in for my 39^th year.

Courage, compassion, creativity, self-understanding and just the right amount of “So What” energy, as the cherry on top. 🍒

Hair flips,
Asia

P.S. If you want to give me a birthday gift (did you like that directness?!)— I’m running a sale on all my courses on my website right now! Pick up a class you’ve been eying and get 25% off until midnight ET on Saturday July 18th (my birthday). Just use the code “BIRTHDAY” at checkout.

P.P.S. Thank you, so deeply, for your support. It means, not only that I get to keep writing and teaching and sharing, but I get to do it in a way where I can be my full self—which is the greatest gift of all.

Teenage Asia would be proud.